Why start my blog?

I crashed at my cousin Celia's pad in old downtown L.A. last week. It was the penthouse of a seedy hotel that lead out onto the roof. Buildings jutting up, some glass and steel, others ornate terra cotta. Old radio towers from the RKO era. Great view but this visit was because her sister, my cousin Laura was dying. Throat cancer had turned her into 70-pounds of bone and loose skin. So those two-and-a-half days were about waiting for her to die, watching her clutch for air and hoping she'd get lucid enough from the morphine to recognize we were all there. She was brought home to her apartment where her husband James was at her side. We thought at any moment she would die, but she kept breathing. And so we'd go back to Celia's place and crash. Well, drink first. Wine, beer, shots of tequila my god. Me, eventually running around crazy and hitting on her poor roommate. I think the low of being with Laura in her final moments shot me back up to some tequila-induced high that I needed. She died the third night I was there. We were at dinner and rushed back to experience those odd moments when you have a dead body in the house. Then we went back to Celia's. Talk about time to drink...wine, shots, everything. Hysterical laugher. Over-the-top storytelling. I had a hot time on the roof with one of Celia's friends. Dag was it hot. My bruises are just now healing. When I got back to Chicago, I remembered to check out my cousin Laura's blog. She started it to help cope with how the cancer was slowly robbing her of life and it startled me--especially the pictures. I e-mailed the blog address to friends because it seemed that she found meaning in sharing. I don't know exactly why I started this blog. I know I'm not going to be completely honest. And I really don't have time to devote to it. Maybe I'm doing it because of L.A., and Laura and that rooftop. And how I deperately needed someplace to crash.