Planning Our New Year's 'Naked Waiter' Party

I found recent communication I had with our New Year's Eve caterer quite interesting. It's the first time Bob and I are having a chef come in and plan something special for us--especially since Bob and I came up with a fantastic theme this year: Naked waiter.

Here's the communication he e-mailed Bob (which Bob had me fill out). So essentially, our caterer, Brian, is asking questions that I responded to earlier today:

Brian: I'm sure that I can accommodate 40 guests with appetizers. The price per appetizer ranges between 3$ for simple foods to $8 for the more elaborate stuff (flavor pairings , textured, fine) to 12$ for the blow-your-mind, mouth-frenzying, good s**it. It will be difficult for me to find a server for this event, but come to think of it , I believe [my co-worker] Kirsten told me that you have taken care of this with a naked person. Sounds like quite a party. I suppose it would be appropriate for me to consider foods that are phallic and sexy, sensuous, yet with a kick. I have platters and serving dishes for rent that you can use to accent your food. Are you thinking props?

Angel: Re: Themed platters and props--I think we’ll start with the food decisions and if accessories come to mind, please suggest some with the related price tag. We can decide once we look at the overall budget.

Brian: How early would you want me to drop off the food? If you choose foods that are elaborate and heated, I will have to be there to set them up, and I'm afraid that I won't be able to stay past 9:30pm.

Angel: The party will start at 8 p.m. but we won’t expect a ton of folks until about 10 p.m. You can think about setting up around 7:30 p.m. Maybe you can show us how to heat things up and we can do some of that around 9 p.m. We are planning on hiring a “naked waiter,” but we’re not exactly sure what he’ll be doing all night—we have to negotiate with him.

Brian: Now, if I could just get you to take a little test? Think 6th grade art class: Please take three minutes to think about the parties past and all of the things that made them great ...

Angel: In the past, we’ve had some participatory games and contests—something that people really got into. Once we had a “pin the penis on the naked man game” that went over really well. Another year we got Play Dough that you can bake into a final piece and that went over well. We’ve done musical "Twister." I think it was all about participatory games and conversation starters—unusual and interesting drinks (Hurricanes, chocolate martinis) or party themes (hooker themes or jungle themes). We usually attract an eclectic crowd of artists, dancers and left-of-center types.

Brian: E-mail me a short sentence about something someone did with food at a party (the funnier the better). Next, please write out in a few words the level of elegance or ribald wit or crassness or tasteful lewdness or what-have-you that is a common characteristic of the celebrants and mood of your soiree .

Angel: I think we’ve always had a level of sophistication with the room and the food/drink areas, even though we’ve had bawdy themes. The presentation of the food and drinks has always been on the tasteful side, even though the games might get very suggestive (we wrote sexy things on “Jenga” blocks and when someone picked a block, they’d have to do that sexy thing—feign an orgasm, for instance.) Food with sexy but sophisticated sounding names is a funny thought to me—a mushroom bush or a crab areola.

Brian: Finally, write down five of your favorite foods

Angel: Definitely chicken, meatballs & bacon (how’s that for a pairing—or dates wrapped in bacon; we had that at our favorite wine bar …), spinach dip with veggies, mushrooms done any style and crab/seafood.

Well, I don't know if you found it amusing or informative. I thought it was definitely different.